Where the hell is my “Mojo”???

In the middle of a storm, a pilgrim reaches an inn and the owner asks where he is going.

“I’m going to the mountains,” he answers.

“Forget it,” says the innkeeper, “it’s a risky climb, and the weather is awful.”

“But I’m going up,” answers the pilgrim. ”It is my dream”.

“If my heart got there first, it will be easy to follow it with my body.”

I am climbing my friends. I have been doing so for years and my bones hurt, but that is a pain I cant endure, it’s my hart that I am worrying about. My hart is skipping and the road ahead of me is getting to be hazier as I continue by myself. To be frank, I am single for eight months and I hate the fact I lost my “Mojo” along the way.

Mojo

The word originally means a charm or a spell. But now its more commonly said meaning sex appeal or talent.

N.
1. Self-confidence, Self-assuredness. As in basis for belief in ones self in a situation. Esp. I context of contest or display of skill such as sexual advances or going into battle.
2. Good luck fetish / charm to bolster confidence.
3. ability to bounce back from a debilitating trauma and negative attitude

Damn it, I want it back! I feel like an idiot in the group of people. I just stand there, nodding as if I am part of the conversation and even if I do say something, timing is off or the conversation has all ready moved into another direction.

If I like somebody, It takes me forever to say something. Forming a sentence reminds me of plucking words with pliers from my mouth. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh…this is so not me… this is killing me. The worst part is that I can see my self and I know if I don’t change something soon, soon enough I will not be invited to these little “get-togethers”. Why would I? I’m sad to watch.

The thing about me is that I am the positive one that always keeps the party up and running. Being around new people brings me contort because I love expanding my social network. Speaking publicly has never been a problem, why would it? I am karaoke queen who gets the party started. 

So, where the hell is my “Mojo”???

But please don’t get me wrong, my “Mojo” is not just the spark that attracts the opposite sex, but the spark that shows my creative, larger than life attitude towards all my dreams and goals. This means that I haven’t painted nor did anything creative during all this time.

This is why I decided to make some changes in my life, so I am going to do one thing that scares me every day, or at least try and write about it. Hehehe…If this doesn't spark the old engine, I don't know what else will, but heck...at least it should be interesting.