...After 4 months in the country…
1. I brought the wroooong shoes for this place!
2. You can make a pillow case out of big T-shirt. (This comes to use, if you can’t afford one, yet)
3. Wet tissues become your daily hygiene anti-germ protection.
4. Locket, Earplugs, Eye cover and warm sleeping bag can be your best friends in a tent full of women.
5. General common sense does not apply here.
6. You get use to the noise but not the smell.
7. Being a female is equivalent to being a star. People keep staring at you, want to get to know you and … oh well…
8. If you are a guy, don’t use showers on Thursday’s, because it is “Happy Man-love day”. (Well unless you want company of another guy to sope &sponge you up, real good!)
9. Don’t eat Indian chilly-chicken, Kentucky fry chicken and a chocolate cheesecake at once, you might throw up. (This is more, note-to-self).
10. Running on muddy streets is an adventure for itself. Running with KH3 Halfwits is a memorable experience.
11. No matter where I go, I bring my craziness with me. (Note to self: Please, for the love of God…act normal, Maja!)
12. My black winter jacket in love with the floor. Nasty, dusty floor! I’m telling you, I clean that jacket at least 5-6 times a day… I’m beginning to think this weird thing that’s happening is turning into a serious thing. That’s another thing…what the hell possessed me to bring anything in black color… It’s a freaking desert! D’oh!
13. The people of Afghanistan are called Afghans and not Afghanis which is the currency!
14. Afghanistan's national game is called Buzkashi, or in other words, goat-grabbing. It's a sport where the players in two teams try to catch a goat while riding on a horse. It has been played for centuries and it even got sponsors for it nowadays. If you want to see how it’s done watch a historic documentary called “Rambo III”, you know where Rambo helps the Taliban to fight The Russians (What a mistake to make!).
15. Poetry is a big part of Afghans' culture and it has been for centuries. I heard that in some cities, women, men and children gather on Thursday night to share verses from old and new poetry.
(On that note: I miss Sarajevo’s POETS night, only we do it on Fridays and the real term is: “Piss Off Early Tomorrow is Saturday”)
16. I never knew food could taste like plastic until I got here. (Literally, no joke…) It is divided into three categories Green, Yellow and Red. Green – low on fat, Yellow – Medium and Red is all the delicious French fries, Buffalo wings, bacon and Ice cream. Take a wild guess what I am eating??!
I’m eating “colorful food”…duhh…one must resist the temptation in order to look good in my upcoming R&R bikini vacation. ( Ohh…Vanity – my favorite sin)
17. I miss this thing called “weekend” – Its nonexistent element here, because every day is the same.
18. Laughing out loud after pulling 16h day shift, not because something is that funny but just because your body’s self-preservation mode is “ON” and it is the only thing you can rely.
19. Oh, what else … ah yes, personal hygiene is optional for some people. One would think the ladies are ah well “ladies”, but no… there are some nasty ill-mannered creatures among us. Cleaning behind you in lavatory is not optional it’s a rule… hello??? And don’t even get me started on “washing hands”…. Huh. While there are some men here, OMG I kid you not, they have not showered in a loooooong time. Phew. Seriously, I dread the summer and high temperatures and facing the boiling pooh pond and the increase of the smelly BO in the Office building. They told me that I should wear flip flops in the shower because I can get athletes foot. You know that nasty yeast that eats your skin and makes it itch so bad that your in-between toes start to bleed. Oh yeah…that is NASTY. So my dear flipi-floppy’s… you are going to save me! Thank you Maja for being smart and bringing Flip-flops and special foot cream protection. (I love talking to myself in second person it’s like tapping myself on the shoulder for doing a good job – So, don’t judge before you try it! Whaaaat??! It’s comforting. LoL)
20. The most important thing – and I’m glad to say this, is making friends. Sticking together and laughing to everyday nonsense helps calm the soul. Regardless on the stress we are facing whether if it’s here or back home, it makes tremendous difference if you have someone to talk to and share. Things get pretty rough. Environment is harsh, work stress is very elevated and people you deal with appear to like those guys from: “dumber and dumber” . So, it is natural your fuse gets shorter the longer you stay here. We all follow are rules and obey the guidelines but at the end of the day we are only humans and it is natural that we overreact. Friends come in hand with a simple “It’s going to be OK” or providing that perfect bad joke that turns almost unbearable situation into out loud laughter. It is good to have friends that care. So in that regards, thank you: Chris, Jelena, Igor, Mickey, Cathy and Diana! J
Note: Thanks to all my friends back home who took the time to help my mom recover from her surgery. Thank you for calling and informing me about everything because you were my eyes and ears and even though I am not there…. You are always with me!
“If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere”
…To be continued…since I’m still here!
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